Monday, August 24, 2009


I have always been terrified of guns. Growing up in New Hampshire I had a bb gun when I was a child, and have always had a fascination with old guns but have never held a loaded firearm. I know not to ever point a gun at anyone. I know that guns are dangerous. I know that guns are powerful and can really cause a lot of damage very quickly. Guns go against my pacifist nature. I never want to inflict pain or promote violence. That doesn't mean I haven't always secretly wanted to shoot a gun. A really really big gun.

In an effort to test my boundaries I went to a gun range and took a lesson. I wanted to shoot a gun. I wanted to learn how to do it safely. I didn't want to chicken out. I needed an appointment.

I was living my dream of holding a gun. I was honestly terrified. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to do it wrong. I didn't want to like it, but I did. I was sooo excited to shoot. I wanted any excuse to get out of it. I didn't want keep going but I didn't want to give up. I kept telling myself to think about it as being excited, and not terrified. 

I loved facing my fear. I loved feeling my fear. I loved that I loved shooting a gun! I loved the adrenaline rush I got from the terror and power of it all. I loved that my hands got sweaty, and my heart was racing, and I got all shaky and empowered. I know that I love to recommend that you try all kinds of things here on this blog. My recommendation this time is that you try something that scares you. Look at why it scares you, what about it exactly do you find terrifying? Could it be that it is exciting? Perhaps you're anxious to give it a try? Are you eager to feel the excitement that facing what you are afraid of will bring? Or maybe you're just afraid that you'll like it!

I encourage you to go out and give it a try. It doesn't have to be a trip to a gun range (although, you'll probably see me there! I'm totally into it now and can't wait to go again). It could be a skydiving lesson, or a bungee jump. Maybe you want to take a trapeze lesson. Or it could be something completely different like taking a tap dancing class, trying sushi, public speaking, or writing a blog. Feel the fear, and go for it. It's a good indicator that you'll probably learn something about yourself. Let me know how it goes. Hope you're well, big kiss xxtbone

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